One of These Things is Not Like the Others

 I stepped over this today...

and to see both of my daughter's faces amongst the plastic toys made me do a double-take.  Then I squealed realizing the affect CooCube had on me as a customer. Great inspiration for the never-ending work towards launch - which is getting so close! We have some exciting news coming within the next few weeks. Brace yourself for the countdown :) 

musical inspiration for today:  a blurb from Jenny and Tyler's  "Song for You"
"my voice you didn’t know, didn't know
i called you had to go, had to go
back to your little worldwhere nothing is strange
you set out on your own, on your own
you said, i’m heading home, heading home
back to the life you know
neatly arranged
I have done for youeverything my love
hear my song for you"

Spring Break

Spring is in the air!! O wait- so is snow. What?! What?! We kicked off our spring break with a bit of snow this week in PA!  Can you believe we have been waiting for a snow day all season with no luck? (My husband Brian is a teacher).

Luckily we headed south to visit my brother and his family in TN for my nieces first birthday! 12 hrs later we are here. 

This book was waiting for me - I had it shipped in no time flat to meet me here. I do have another 12 hour car ride home ya know ;)  I can't wait to dig in - I'll let you know how it is. 

See ya’ll next week!

In Love

After shooting my video and having the opportunity to talk about CooCube and my aspirations for it - I can’t seem to contain my excitement for the journey ahead. 

It’s been a reflective day today as I was thinking about the evolution of my heart for CooCube.  When I first started down this path my motivations were coming from a different place.  The idea of CooCube was initiated by a passion and love for creating beautiful things. I saw it as a potential way to provide for my family while doing what I love - not to mention it was on my list of “to-do’s by age 30”.  Does anyone else out there have one of these lists? Build a successful career, check. Buy a house, check.  Married, check. Kids, check. Start my own business…

And then my life took a sudden detour after the stillbirth of my son, Aidan. My heart opened up to so much more. It’s ironic how experiencing pain and very low points can inspire honest reflection from so deep within. I began to really challenge who I was and what I wanted out of this short life.  Instead of thinking about what I could accomplish and obtain I started to think about how I could leave an impact. I dream to play a part in the love and restoration of children in need.

Recently I’ve been struggling with reconciling this gap  -  starting the CooCube business that was set in motion a while ago while my heart has been opening up to serving others. What did this mean? A career change? Did that mean heading into missions? But I have a family that I need to support. What exactly did that look like?

After much prayer and contemplation – it hit me! Think TOMS shoes business model –they are "transforming everyday purchases into a force for good around the world. One for One." A for-profit company that is committed to giving back in a tangible way! A spark was ignited in me. Of course I am still motivated by my passion for creating beautiful things but that has been eclipsed by my awareness of others, particularly the suffering of others – it’s like I’ve woken up.  And I found that when I was no longer motivated by selfish ambition I was set free from all the fears that surrounded them. What will I do without my job? Will I loose everything? What will others think? Will I fail? Can I do it?  

Who knows how it will end but I am hopeful that it will be a richer, much more fulfilling journey.  At the start we plan on supporting an orphanage in Bolivia, The Judah Quy home for Precious Little Ones, that cares for infant orphans in need of intensive medical intervention. We would eventually love to support the abolition of human slavery with organizations such as Love 146, etc. I dream to play a part in building an orphanage or safe house one day.  If I think ahead – it seems like such a steep mountain to climb, such a long unknown journey to walk.  I don’t have experience in any of this - what am I thinking! But God is in the business of moving mountains and, well, I just can’t worry about it.

This weeks soundtrack: Faint Not (by Jenny&Tyler)

O my soul, faint not, no, faint not

O my soul, keep up, up

In love

It’s not that we don’t know or we’re not shown the proof of poverty
It’s not that we don’t have the tools to go to break this yoke of slavery
We quit because it’s not an easy fix and then forget that they are even there
We forget to care


O my soul, faint not, no, faint not 
In love


Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, let me pardon
Where there is darkness, let the Light come, come

O my soul, faint not, no, faint not

O my soul, keep up, up

In love

O my soul, keep up, up

O my soul, keep up, up

In love

Lights, Camera, Action!

Day 2 of the video shoot done.  Wahoo. It was quite the production – lights, camera, action! And action there was. Babies were crawling everywhere, doing what babies do. Laughing (okay- a little bit of crying), dancing and -of course- playing with CooCubes. My friends and their sweet little ones came over for a play date today and Brett was here to capture the action on camera. And what you see is what you get- there is no "acting" with babies- that's for sure.  I was; however, missing my mini “assistant” today- she was at school. Bummer.

After all the babies went home for nap time it was my turn to speak to the camera - to open up and tell my story. I’ve been a bit nervous leading up to today but you know what - it was very liberating!  It felt really good to share my inspiration, motivations, and aspirations (that’s a whole lot of tions).  When I let myself go – freedom to share the story – I found myself so reinvigorated! It did take me a little bit to feel comfortable behind the camera but I think we were able to get some good footage by the end of the day.  I haven’t seen any of it yet - a little embarrassed to check it out!

So now it’s time to put all the pieces together.  April is going to be an exciting month. Speaking of - I know we were shooting to launch the Kickstarter campaign in March but it is looking like April. It stinks to have slipped into April but I am proud of all that we have accomplished.  It will be worth it - we have some things up our sleeves so stay tuned.

Gearing Up

SO much has been going on! We've been busy little beavers over here.  Here are some behind the scene pics of our photo and video shoots. More details later but thought you might like a sneak peek. P.S.  I love our little assistant always ready and willing to jump in and lend a hand :)

Faith

I thought about how "surface" to keep this blog and, at the expense of feeling vulnerable, thought I'd instead share the realness of this experience.

Yesterday I said goodbye to my 9 year career. I had resigned after my Maternity leave in the fall but I've been contracting there since.  BUT yesterday I handed in my badge, my computer, sent my farewell email and walked out the door and onto the train.  I wanted to barf - and the thought of "I hope I don't regret this" kept running through my head.  Just then I received a text from one of my very dear friends that read "Whoooooop! Leaps of faith are awesome!!!!!".  This is just what I needed to hear at the VERY moment I needed to hear it.  It's those little nudges of encouragement that keep my faith in the unseen. (I've got some bigger nudges too if anyone is ever interested- but that is for another time and a longer story...I won't bore you with details)

To some it may seem - just another page but to me this is a completely different chapter. One I've been crawling towards for a while now.  I finally took the last step and walked away from security and success that I had strived for for years.  The truth is that, while I enjoyed the job I was so very blessed to have, I am looking for a more fulfilled life. I'd love to take my experiences and pour them into a pursuit bigger than myself.   I laid it down and am about to pick up something completely different. Which would be okay, or at least a little easier, if I knew what that something was! And if I knew how we were going to pay the bills. (I thought about keeping that thing about the bills off of this post but the truth is - this is a very REAL risk. The fear of this has kept me from stepping out in the past - it has been one of the biggest parts of my story so I can't leave it out) The not knowing is the hardest part since I am a visionary and a planner at heart. I've been challenged to trust.  And so, I move on to trusting that I will invest my time wisely and be led to where I need to be.

I can't help but think of my Mom as I walk through all of this. You see- I lost her to cancer this past May (about 3 weeks after the birth of my son) and really miss her presence here. Her voice of encouragement and comfort.  Even though I know she is proud of me and believing in where I'll be headed -  I do just long to hear "everything's going to be okay."  Faith in the unseen.

So today I started planning out the next few weeks - the focus is on CooCube for now. To give it a go - I started the list.  So goodbye for now - I am on to tackle task number one on the list.
#1) switch gears - stop doubting, look ahead and get excited
#2) dust off the CooCube facebook page
#3) open a CooCube twitter account
#4) start writing my Kickstarter campaign details
...#99) ...

Here's to hoping I can get past #1 ;)

I'm Back

Remember me? Fast forward from my last post to now and my then 7 month old Logan is now 2!  WOW!

And meet Ethan (now 9 months) – the newest addition to our beautiful family!

I have to admit it’s a little embarrassing reading my previous posts and knowing I haven’t yet realized this dream. But the dream is still there, even though is been a longer and more unexpected path then what I had thought.  So bear with me. I’m back with hopes to complete what was started. My hubby and I have been busy paving the way and creating space to pursue CooCube.  We’ve simplified our life by downsizing to a small fixer-upper home that we’ve finally made our own. This made it possible for me to resign after my maternity leave just this September.  I’ve been contracting since to get us over the hump but am now transitioning to focusing on launching CooCube.  The reality is that this is scary. These are big decisions. It’s uncertain. But on the positive side I am excited and full of anticipation. I have a great product that I am excited and passionate about.  I’ll never know if I don’t try. So here is goes. 

I’ve decided to create a Kickstarter project.  It’s a really neat way to get my idea out there to see if there is any interest.  It is a funding platform to support creative ideas. I put out my idea and request backers to support me.  If I get enough backers and reach my monetary goal – I then can fulfill on my intent to finally launch my website.  I gather I’ll know if this is worth pursuing.  The scary part is asking the question and waiting on the answer…but I guess that is what faith is all about.  But it’s not a magic button or an easy task.  The preparation begins with a long to-do list to get it going.  Lots of brainstorming, sample making, picture taking, video producing in my near future. I’ll keep you posted on the boring details as I move forward with this. My goal is to launch the campaign in March. Here goes nothing…

“I close my eyes, breath in deep. Yesterday is gone. Today I can see. Oh Today I can see. My my my my for the very first time I wave goodbye to what used to weigh me down. Oh my my my everything’s alright. The sun is shining down. I’m looking all around and this is just so beautiful.”

from this week’s "theme" song (This is Just So Beautiful by Jenny & Tyler)