Faith

I thought about how "surface" to keep this blog and, at the expense of feeling vulnerable, thought I'd instead share the realness of this experience.

Yesterday I said goodbye to my 9 year career. I had resigned after my Maternity leave in the fall but I've been contracting there since.  BUT yesterday I handed in my badge, my computer, sent my farewell email and walked out the door and onto the train.  I wanted to barf - and the thought of "I hope I don't regret this" kept running through my head.  Just then I received a text from one of my very dear friends that read "Whoooooop! Leaps of faith are awesome!!!!!".  This is just what I needed to hear at the VERY moment I needed to hear it.  It's those little nudges of encouragement that keep my faith in the unseen. (I've got some bigger nudges too if anyone is ever interested- but that is for another time and a longer story...I won't bore you with details)

To some it may seem - just another page but to me this is a completely different chapter. One I've been crawling towards for a while now.  I finally took the last step and walked away from security and success that I had strived for for years.  The truth is that, while I enjoyed the job I was so very blessed to have, I am looking for a more fulfilled life. I'd love to take my experiences and pour them into a pursuit bigger than myself.   I laid it down and am about to pick up something completely different. Which would be okay, or at least a little easier, if I knew what that something was! And if I knew how we were going to pay the bills. (I thought about keeping that thing about the bills off of this post but the truth is - this is a very REAL risk. The fear of this has kept me from stepping out in the past - it has been one of the biggest parts of my story so I can't leave it out) The not knowing is the hardest part since I am a visionary and a planner at heart. I've been challenged to trust.  And so, I move on to trusting that I will invest my time wisely and be led to where I need to be.

I can't help but think of my Mom as I walk through all of this. You see- I lost her to cancer this past May (about 3 weeks after the birth of my son) and really miss her presence here. Her voice of encouragement and comfort.  Even though I know she is proud of me and believing in where I'll be headed -  I do just long to hear "everything's going to be okay."  Faith in the unseen.

So today I started planning out the next few weeks - the focus is on CooCube for now. To give it a go - I started the list.  So goodbye for now - I am on to tackle task number one on the list.
#1) switch gears - stop doubting, look ahead and get excited
#2) dust off the CooCube facebook page
#3) open a CooCube twitter account
#4) start writing my Kickstarter campaign details
...#99) ...

Here's to hoping I can get past #1 ;)

I'm Back

Remember me? Fast forward from my last post to now and my then 7 month old Logan is now 2!  WOW!

And meet Ethan (now 9 months) – the newest addition to our beautiful family!

I have to admit it’s a little embarrassing reading my previous posts and knowing I haven’t yet realized this dream. But the dream is still there, even though is been a longer and more unexpected path then what I had thought.  So bear with me. I’m back with hopes to complete what was started. My hubby and I have been busy paving the way and creating space to pursue CooCube.  We’ve simplified our life by downsizing to a small fixer-upper home that we’ve finally made our own. This made it possible for me to resign after my maternity leave just this September.  I’ve been contracting since to get us over the hump but am now transitioning to focusing on launching CooCube.  The reality is that this is scary. These are big decisions. It’s uncertain. But on the positive side I am excited and full of anticipation. I have a great product that I am excited and passionate about.  I’ll never know if I don’t try. So here is goes. 

I’ve decided to create a Kickstarter project.  It’s a really neat way to get my idea out there to see if there is any interest.  It is a funding platform to support creative ideas. I put out my idea and request backers to support me.  If I get enough backers and reach my monetary goal – I then can fulfill on my intent to finally launch my website.  I gather I’ll know if this is worth pursuing.  The scary part is asking the question and waiting on the answer…but I guess that is what faith is all about.  But it’s not a magic button or an easy task.  The preparation begins with a long to-do list to get it going.  Lots of brainstorming, sample making, picture taking, video producing in my near future. I’ll keep you posted on the boring details as I move forward with this. My goal is to launch the campaign in March. Here goes nothing…

“I close my eyes, breath in deep. Yesterday is gone. Today I can see. Oh Today I can see. My my my my for the very first time I wave goodbye to what used to weigh me down. Oh my my my everything’s alright. The sun is shining down. I’m looking all around and this is just so beautiful.”

from this week’s "theme" song (This is Just So Beautiful by Jenny & Tyler)