I thought about how "surface" to keep this blog and, at the expense of feeling vulnerable, thought I'd instead share the realness of this experience.
Yesterday I said goodbye to my 9 year career. I had resigned after my Maternity leave in the fall but I've been contracting there since. BUT yesterday I handed in my badge, my computer, sent my farewell email and walked out the door and onto the train. I wanted to barf - and the thought of "I hope I don't regret this" kept running through my head. Just then I received a text from one of my very dear friends that read "Whoooooop! Leaps of faith are awesome!!!!!". This is just what I needed to hear at the VERY moment I needed to hear it. It's those little nudges of encouragement that keep my faith in the unseen. (I've got some bigger nudges too if anyone is ever interested- but that is for another time and a longer story...I won't bore you with details)
To some it may seem - just another page but to me this is a completely different chapter. One I've been crawling towards for a while now. I finally took the last step and walked away from security and success that I had strived for for years. The truth is that, while I enjoyed the job I was so very blessed to have, I am looking for a more fulfilled life. I'd love to take my experiences and pour them into a pursuit bigger than myself. I laid it down and am about to pick up something completely different. Which would be okay, or at least a little easier, if I knew what that something was! And if I knew how we were going to pay the bills. (I thought about keeping that thing about the bills off of this post but the truth is - this is a very REAL risk. The fear of this has kept me from stepping out in the past - it has been one of the biggest parts of my story so I can't leave it out) The not knowing is the hardest part since I am a visionary and a planner at heart. I've been challenged to trust. And so, I move on to trusting that I will invest my time wisely and be led to where I need to be.
I can't help but think of my Mom as I walk through all of this. You see- I lost her to cancer this past May (about 3 weeks after the birth of my son) and really miss her presence here. Her voice of encouragement and comfort. Even though I know she is proud of me and believing in where I'll be headed - I do just long to hear "everything's going to be okay." Faith in the unseen.
So today I started planning out the next few weeks - the focus is on CooCube for now. To give it a go - I started the list. So goodbye for now - I am on to tackle task number one on the list.
#1) switch gears - stop doubting, look ahead and get excited
#2) dust off the CooCube facebook page
#3) open a CooCube twitter account
#4) start writing my Kickstarter campaign details
Here's to hoping I can get past #1 ;)